There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
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