doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
