It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
tell me about the fingering
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