So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
You don't make any sense
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