tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
