Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
