No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I cut my penus on the lid.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
