Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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