32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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