Already got asked if we're dating
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
