He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
