i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
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