Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
