Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
