chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
