well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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