wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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