turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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