She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
