she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
