and you said cock pushups were impossible
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
