just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize