I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
