I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
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That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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