I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
