Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
