lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
