We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
