She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
