her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
His nipple licking is glorious
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