so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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