I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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