we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
