super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
