Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
