Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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