You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
