PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
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