so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
