btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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