Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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