do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize