So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
