I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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