It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
