Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
