I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
