girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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