Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize