just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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