She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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