Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
