i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He passed out mid-signature
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
