Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
soo... how was my night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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