Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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