Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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