Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
