im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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