lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
