Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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