i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
