I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
