brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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