i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
